Lately, I just haven't been in the mood for blogging. Typically, I have the desire to blog, but am unable to find the time between classes, practice and tutoring. My trip to Florida put a lot of things into perspective for me and ever since I returned to California, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I have always been impartial to track, but have felt that it is necessary to my survival and success in cross country. I put a lot of heart and effort into cross country because I enjoy every bit of it- practice, workouts, races, being with my teammates, and even the early mornings spent pounding out miles. Track leaves me with a different feeling. It terrifies me knowing the level that I once achieved and have yet to reach again. I have made a lot of strides in the right direction and even dropped 30 seconds off of my 5k time last track season, but I still feel like I have much more of myself to give.
My trip to Florida made me realize everything that I had given up when I decided to transfer freshman year. I was the happiest I have been in a while being reunited with old friends and sorority sisters in Florida. I have matured a lot since freshman year and the things I took for granted my first year of college, I have learned to appreciate and cherish. It took leaving for a couple years and taking a step back to realize the potential that school held for me. I am left with so many hypothetical questions and unknown possibilities as a result of my decision. As a freshman, it seemed logical to transfer back to the place I know and love. As a junior reminiscing on the past couple of years, I am not as confident in my decision. As challenging as it was being all the way across the country for college, I had a group of girls that I was lucky enough to call sisters that I knew would be there for me like family when I needed them. I was being challenged academically and I had a strong drive to excel and grow as a student of psychology. Most of the people that were important to me as a freshman have remained constant in my life today, an ever-present reminder of the many people that cared about me and still do. The bottom line is that I miss Florida Southern and all of the memories that I made there. I know that it is a place that I can be happy at, regardless of whether I run cross country or track or not. The hardest part is knowing how unrealistic and far-fetched these ideas sound. I made a decision freshman year that determined my present situation at La Verne, and, happy or not, I have a year left to suck it up and move on. Now if only it were that easy...
