New Years Eve with my GOHS teammates
My first track season here at La Verne is officially under way and I am not entirely sure how to feel about it. As I ran my first run of 2011 with a few of my old Great Oak teammates, we discussed some of our resolutions for the new year. While I haven't quite established a concrete list of my New Years' goals and aspirations, I know that one thing is certain; if I am going to have a successful track season, I have to change my attitude.
I have been incredibly bitter about the upcoming season because I don't know what to expect. I thought that I had cross country season all figured out and then was forced to deal with the harsh reality of disappointment and the inexplicable feelings of failure that resulted. I strive for perfection, almost demand it at times. The possibilities of the unknown terrify me.
As a freshman in high school, I loved track season. I felt like I had something to be proud of and I was happy. I don't know exactly when or why it changed, but I am no longer the fearless freshman I once was. Ever since the year I was forced to take off, I have felt incapable. The possibility of ever running the times I once did seem incomprehensible and far-fetched.
I am sick of the negative nancy that I become as soon as track season rolls around. So as the girls and I were discussing possible New Years' resolutions, the idea of changing my attitude seemed very appropriate. Considering that I am a psychology major, I should realize that I have been setting myself up for failure, engaging in the self-fulfilling prophecy, due to my bitter attitude regarding track season. I am over it. Done. My negative attitude has to come to an end. It will definitely be a challenging resolution, but I have never been one to back down from a challenge. :)
I will keep you all posted.
